"The Ex-Girlfriend"

My favorite episode of the first season, "The Ex-Girlfriend" is very good.

It starts as George breaks up with his girlfriend Marlene, partly because of her voice and because he leaves long phone messages. He's trying to think of the best way to go about this, and Jerry suggests, "You should just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion! Right off!"

Elaine also relates a story about her and a guy in their building. They start of talking to each other when they pass, then they just say hi, then it evolved into just a head nod, and now nothing. According to Elaine, this has created a deep animosity in their relationship, which is essentially based on nothing. She asks George and Jerry for advice, and George says that if he were a different person, he would confront him.

Kramer enters eating cantaloupe, which he says he got at Joe's, whereas Jerry gets his from the supermarket, much to the dismay of Kramer. Kramer also tells Jerry that he can return the fruit if he doesn't like it, and Jerry replies that he doesn't reutrn fruit because he knows going in that it's a gamble.

By this point George breaks up with his girlfriend, but then remembers that he forgot his books there, and he asks Jerry to go get them. But when Jerry does go get them, he ends up being attracted to her, because of her voice. Even though she calls a lot, he can't stop seeing her.

Later, George's back starts to hurt, and Jerry insists he go see his chiropractor, against George's wishes. So George sees him, and he is unimpressed, as, in his mind, he paid $75 for 2 minutes, and he tells Jerry he's only paying half. Later, Jerry asks George if it's ok that he plans on seeing Marlene, and George is fine with it, much to his surprise.

So Jerry takes Marlene back to her place, where she breaks things off on the basis that she didn't like his act, telling Jerry she can't be with a man if she doesn't respect what he does. Jerry tries to make excuses like the crowd was weak, or that it was a weekday and he has better stuff on the weekend. In the end, it's not enough to convince Marlene, and the show ends. But what a great episode it was.

Favorite Quotes from "The Ex-Girlfriend"

JERRY: A relationship is an organism. You created this thing and then you starved it so it turned against you. Same thing happened to The Blob.

KRAMER: See, the other thing is, if you don't like anything, he takes it right back.
JERRY: I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in.

JERRY: No, no. It's not your fault. Books, books, I need my books. Have you re-read those books yet, by the way? You know the great thing? When you read Moby Dick the second time, Ahab and the whale become good friends.

RECEPTIONIST: The doctor'll see you now.
GEORGE: (To Jerry, sarcastically) Yeah, doctor.

GEORGE: What's seventy-five bucks? What, am I seeing Sinatra in there?! Am I being entertained? I don't understand this. I'm only paying half.

MARLENE: Well, okay. I guess things changed for me on Tuesday night.
JERRY: Tuesday night? What happened Tuesday night?
MARLENE: ..I saw your act.
JERRY: My act? What does that have to do with anything?
MARLENE: Well, to be honest, it just didn't make it for me. It's just so much fluff.
JERRY: I can't believe this. So what are you saying? You didn't like my act, so that's it?
MARLENE: I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.
JERRY: You're a cashier!
MARLENE: Look, Jerry, it's just not my kind of humor.
JERRY: You can't go by the audience that night. It was late. They were terrible.
MARLENE: I heard the material.
JERRY: I have other stuff. You should come see me on the weekend.

Seinfeld Episodes.

"The Fire"

The third to last episode of Season 5, but The Fire is a classic.

George goes over to his girlfriend's apartment for a birthday party, where this is a clown there that doesn't know who Bozo is, much to the dismay of George. Then, at the birthday party, there's a fire in the apartment. George runs out and pushes everyone out of the way, including his girlfriend's mom, who needed a walker. This causes hilarity when they are all outside, and George is trying to explain his actions, which eventually winds up with the fireman asking George how he lives with himself, to which George answers, "It's not easy."

The other subplot involves Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, and Elaine's coworker Toby, who's a "package full of energy." Kramer decides to take her to one of Jerry's shows, and she begins to heckle him. This costs Jerry a good review, so he goes to her office to heckle her, which upsets her so much that she runs out of the office and her toe is cut off by a street sweeper.

However, Kramer is there, and he eventually recovers the toe, but not before getting on a bus and being attacked by a man with a gun, and the bus driver passes out forcing Kramer to fight off the attacker and drive the bus. Also during this time Kramer continues to make the stops, because "they kept ringing the bell!"

This all results in Toby getting her toe back, and then getting a promotion that Elaine was also up for and was perhaps more qualified for. All in all a high quality episode.

Favorite Quotes from "The Fire"

JERRY: You don't know? Come on, that's gold!
ELAINE: Well, I don't know about "gold."
JERRY: Oh, that's gold, baby.
ELAINE: 'Baby'? What, are you doing George now?
JERRY: I was saying 'baby' way before George!

GEORGE: How can you call yourself a clown and not know who Bozo is?
ERIC: Hey, man - what are you hassling me for? This is just a gig, it's not my life. I don't know who Bozo is, what - is he a clown?
GEORGE: Is he a clown? What, are you kidding me!?
ERIC: Well, what is he?
GEORGE: Yes, he's a clown!
ERIC: Alright, so what's the big deal! There's millions of clowns!
GEORGE: Alright, just forget it.
ERIC: Me forget it? You should forget it! You're livin' in the past, man! You're hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!

GEORGE: Because! Because, as the leader...if I die...then all hope is lost! Who would lead? The clown? Instead of castigating me, you should all be thanking me. What kind of a topsy-turvy world do we live in, where heroes are cast as villains? Brave men as cowards?
ROBIN: But I saw you push the women and children out of the way in a mad panic! I saw you knock them down! And when you ran out, you left everyone behind!
GEORGE: Seemingly. Seemingly, to the untrained eye, I can fully understand how you got that impression. What looked like pushing...what looked like knocking down...was a safety precaution! In a fire, you stay close to the ground, am I right? And when I ran out that door, I was not leaving anyone behind! Oh, quite the contrary! I risked my life making sure that exit was clear. Any other questions?
FIREMAN: How do you live with yourself?
GEORGE: Its not easy.

JERRY: You know what? I think I'm gonna do that! She came down to where I work, I'll go down to where she works!
GEORGE: This is unprecedented!
JERRY: There's no precedent, baby!
GEORGE: What...are you using my babies now?

KRAMER: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.
GEORGE: That's unbelievable!
KRAMER: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.
GEORGE: You ran?
KRAMER: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."
GEORGE: Holy cow!
KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " - knocked him out cold!
GEORGE: How could you do that?!
KRAMER: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.
GEORGE: You're Batman.
KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop.
JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?
KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!
GEORGE: Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe?
KRAMER: Well! I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.
GEORGE: You did all this...for a pinky toe?
KRAMER: Well, it's a valuable appendage.

JERRY: So you feel "women and children first," in this day and age, is somewhat of an antiquated notion.
GEORGE: To some degree.
JERRY: So basically, it's every man, woman, child, and invalid for themselves.
GEORGE: In a manner of speaking.
JERRY: Well, it's honest.
GEORGE: Yeah. She should be commending me for treating everyone like equals.
JERRY: Well, perhaps when she's released from the burn center, she'll see things differently.

Seinfeld Episodes

"The Library"

Probably my favorite Seinfeld episode, so I'll start with this to review.

I think the biggest reason that this is my favorite is because of Lt. Bookman, who I consider the be probably the best character ever on the show, at least outside of the Big 4. I had a very good laugh at each of his lines, just because of the way he said them. And the coat thing. Oh my, what a character!

The whole storyline itself is very humorous. Jerry gets a call from the library that he has an overdue book from 1971. At first he is positive that he returned the book, but then we learn that George dropped it in gym class and it was taken by the gym teacher, who called George "Cantstandya."

The other storyline is Kramer putting the moves on the Marion the librarian. This is very funny, especially when he reads her poetry and cries, only the poetry actually sucks. But that's ok.

So what do you get with a great storyline, the best character ever, and some great lines? One of, if not the best episode ever.

Favorite Quotes from "The Library"

KRAMER: "The Dewey Decimal System - what a scam that was. Boy that Dewey guy really cleaned up on that deal."

KRAMER: "Look at her. This is a lonely woman looking for companionship.. Spinster. ..Maybe a virgin.. Maybe she got hurt a long time ago. She was a schoolgirl. There was a boy - It didn't work out. Now she needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. (Warming up to the idea) She needs a little Kramer."
JERRY: "Yeah, and then she'll need a little shot of penicillin."

KRAMER: "Hey, uh, I'll see you boys later." (Turns to the librarian) "So uh, what's a guy got to do around here to get a library card?"

This is long, but this is probably my favorite scene ever, so here it is:
JERRY: (Enters his home to find Mr. Bookman waiting for him) "Oh, I'm glad you're here, so we can get this all straightened out. Would you like a cup of tea?"

BOOKMAN: "You got any coffee?"
JERRY: "Coffee?"
BOOKMAN: "Yeah. Coffee."
JERRY: "No, I don't drink coffee."
BOOKMAN: "Yeah, you don't drink coffee? How about instant coffee?"
JERRY: "No, I don't have.."
BOOKMAN: (Cutting him off) "You don't have any instant coffee?"
JERRY: "Well, I don't normally.."
BOOKMAN: "Who doesn't have instant coffee?"
JERRY: "I don't."
BOOKMAN: "You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the cupboard, you forget about it. Then, later on, when you need it, it's there. It lasts forever. It's freeze-dried.. Freeze-dried Crystals."
JERRY: "Really? I'll have to remember that."
BOOKMAN: "You took this book out in 1971."
JERRY: "Yes, and I returned it in 1971."
BOOKMAN: "Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job.. Bad year for libraries. Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella."
JERRY: "Look, Mr. Bookman. I-I returned that book. I remember it very specifically."
BOOKMAN: "You're a comedian, you make people laugh."
JERRY: "I try."
BOOKMAN: "You think this is all a big joke, don't you?"
JERRY: "No, I don't."
BOOKMAN: "I saw you on T.V. once; I remembered your name - from my list. I looked it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a celebrity that somehow the law doesn't apply to you? That you're above the law?"
JERRY: "Certainly not."
BOOKMAN: "Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, 'What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books?' Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! (Pauses) Or, maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies.. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!"

BOOKMAN: "I remember when the librarian was a much older woman: Kindly, discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private life.. We didn't want to know anything about her private life. She didn't have a private life. While you're thinking about that, think about this: The library closes at five o'clock, no exceptions. This is your final warning. Got that, kewpie-doll?"

JERRY: "Anyway, I hope there's no hard feelings.."
BOOKMAN: "Hard feelings? What do you know about hard feelings? Y'ever have a man die in your arms? Y'ever kill somebody?"
JERRY: "What is your problem?"
BOOKMAN: "What's my problem? Punks like you, that's my problem. And you better not screw up again Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle."

Seinfeld Episodes

Seinfeld Episodes

Pilot
1. The Seinfeld Chronicles

Season 1
2. The Stakeout
3. The Robbery
4. Male Unbonding
5. The Stock Tip

Season 2
6. The Ex-Girlfriend
7. The Pony Remark
8. The Jacket
9. The Phone Message
10. The Apartment
11. The Statue
12. The Revenge
13. The Heart Attack
14. The Deal
15. The Baby Shower
16. The Chinese Restaurant
17. The Busboy

Season 3
18. The Note
19. The Truth
20. The Pen
21. The Dog
22. The Library
23. The Parking Garage
24. The Cafe
25. The Tape
26. The Nose Job
27. The Stranded
28. The Alternate Side
29. The Red Dot
30. The Subway
31. The Pez Dispenser
32. The Suicide
33. The Fix-Up
34. The Boyfriend (Part 1)
35. The Boyfriend (Part 2)
36. The Limo
37. The Good Samaritan
38. The Letter
39. The Parking Space
40. The Keys

Season 4
41. The Trip (Part 1)
42. The Trip (Part 2)
43. The Pitch (Part 1)
44. The Ticket (Part 2)
45. The Wallet (Part 1)
46. The Watch (Part 2)
47. The Bubble Boy
48. The Cheever Letters
49. The Opera
50. The Virgin
51. The Contest
52. The Airport
53. The Pick
54. The Movie
55. The Visa
56. The Shoes
57. The Outing
58. The Old Man
59. The Implants
60. The Junior Mints
61. The Smelly Car
62. The Handicap Spot
63. The Pilot (Part 1)
64. The Pilot (Part 2)

Season 5
65. The Mango
66. The Puffy Shirt
67. The Glasses
68. The Sniffing Accountant
69. The Bris
70. The Lip Reader
71. The Non-Fat Yogurt
72. The Barber
73. The Masseuse
74. The Cigar Store Indian
75. The Conversion
76. The Stall
77. The Dinner Party
78. The Marine Biologist
79. The Pie
80. The Stand-In
81. The Wife
82. The Raincoats (Part 1)
83. The Raincoats (Part 2)
84. The Fire
85. The Hamptons
86. The Opposite

Season 6
87. The Chaperone
88. The Big Salad
89. The Pledge Drive
90. The Chinese Woman
91. The Couch
92. The Gymnast
93. The Soup
94. The Mom and Pop Store
95. The Secretary
96. The Race
97. The Switch
98. The Label Maker
99. The Scofflaw
100. Highlights of a Hundred (Part 1)
101. Highlights of a Hundred (Part 2)
102. The Beard
103. The Kiss Hello
104. The Doorman
105. The Jimmy
106. The Doodle
107. The Fusilli Jerry
108. The Diplomat's Club
109. The Face Painter
110. The Understudy

Season 7
111. The Engagement
112. The Postponement
113. The Maestro
114. The Wink
115. The Hot Tub
116. The Soup Nazi
117. The Secret Code
118. The Pool Guy
119. The Sponge
120. The Gum
121. The Rye
122. The Caddy
123. The Seven
124. The Cadillac (Part 1)
125. The Cadillac (Part 2)
126. The Shower Head
127. The Doll
128. The Friars Club
129. The Wig Master
130. The Calzone
131. The Bottle Deposits (Part 1)
132. The Bottle Deposits (Part 2)
133. The Wait Out
134. The Invitations

Season 8
135. The Foundation
136. The Soul Mate
137. The Bizarro Jerry
138. The Little Kicks
139. The Package
140. The Fatigues
141. The Checks
142. The Chicken Roaster
143. The Abstinence
144. The Andrea Doria
145. The Little Jerry
146. The Money
147. The Comeback
148. The Van Buren Boys
149. The Susie
150. The Pothole
151. The English Patient
152. The Nap
153. The Yada Yada
154. The Millennium
155. The Muffin Tops
156. The Summer of George

Season 9
157. The Butter Shave
158. The Voice
159. The Serenity Now
160. The Blood
161. The Junk Mail
162. The Merv Griffin Show
163. The Slicer
164. The Betrayal
165. The Apology
166. The Strike
167. The Dealership
168. The Reverse Peephole
169. The Cartoon
170. The Strongbox
171. The Wizard
172. The Burning
173. The Bookstore
174. The Frogger
175. The Maid
176. The Puerto Rican Day
177. The Clip Show (Part 1)
178. The Clip Show (Part 2)
179. The Finale (Part 1)
180. The Finale (Part 2)

My favorite Seinfeld Quotes

Here's a list of my Favorite Seinfeld Quotes.

"I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in."
- Jerry, in "The Ex-Girlfriend"

"I may not look like a Murphy, but I act like a Murphy."
- Jerry, in "The Limo"

I can't run. I have a bad hamstring."
"How'd that happen?"
"I hurt it in a hotel room. You know the way they tuck the covers in real tight in those hotel rooms? I can't sleep like that, so I tried to kick it out and I pulled it."
- George and Jerry, in "The Limo"

"She needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. She needs a little Kramer."
- Kramer, in "The Library"

"Let me tell you something, funny boy... You know that little stamp? The one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before -- flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me.... Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn't he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over."
- Lt. Bookman, in "The Library"

Marlene: I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.
Jerry: You're a cashier!
- “The Ex-Girlfriend”

Mr. Benes: We had a funny guy with us in Korea. Tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific... There's nothing funny about that.
- “The Jacket”

Jerry: It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend.
- “The Library”

Kramer: Spector gave it to me. He's giving everything away... becoming a minimalist.
George: Is that the guy who likes fat women?
Jerry: Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?
- “The Tape”

Kramer: These pretzels are making me thirsty!
- “The Alternate Side”

Jerry: I don't understand. Do you have my reservation?
Car Rental Assistant: We have your reservation, we just ran out of cars.
Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here, that's why you have the reservation.
Car Rental Assistant: I think I know why we have reservations.
Jerry: I don't think you do. You see, you know how to TAKE the reservation, you just don't know how to HOLD the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.
- “The Alternate Side”

"What kind of a shake does he have?"
"Good shake. Perfect shake. Single pump, not too hard. You know, doesn't
have to prove anything, but, you know, firm enough to know he was there."
- George and Jerry, talking about Keith Hernandez, in "The Boyfriend"

"Someday, before I die, mark my words... I'm gonna tell that woman exactly what I think of her. I'll never be able to forgive myself until I do."
"And if you do?"
"I still won't be able to forgive myself, but at least it won't be about this."
- George and Jerry, in "The Baby Shower"

"The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli"
- George in "The Marine Biologist"

"I work at Vandelay industries"
- George in "The Boyfriend"

"Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?"
"I like to get the Daily News."
- Kramer and George, in "The Keys"

"Up here, I'm already gone."
- Kramer, in "The Keys"

"Nobody drives like me. Nobody. I'm doing things in this car, you have no idea they're going on."
- George, in "The Parking Spot"

"You don't understand. A garage... I can't even pull in there. It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?"
- George, looking for a parking spot, in "The Parking Spot"

"I might have a whole new career here."
"You mean a career."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Alternate Side"

Jerry: DeSoto? What did he do?
George: Discovered the Mississippi.
Jerry: Oh, yeah, like they wouldn't have found that anyway.
- Jerry and George in "The Boyfriend"

“You know, when you read Moby Dick the second time Ahab and the whale become good friends.” – Jerry in "The Ex-Girlfriend"

"I sense great vulnerability. A man-child crying out for love. An innocent orphan in the post-modern world."
"I see a parasite. A sexually depraved miscreant who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges."
"His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit."
"He is a loathesome, offensive brute. Yet I can't look away."
- An elderly couple, admiring the painting of Kramer, in "The Letter"

"You're a very bad man, Jerry Seinfeld! Very, very bad!"
- Babu in "The Visa"

Jerry: Oh you're crazy.
Kramer: Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?
Jerry: It's impossible.
Kramer: Is it? Or is it so possible that your head is spinning like a top?
Jerry: It can't be.
Kramer: Can't it? Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you?
Jerry: Alright, that's enough.
- Jerry and Kramer in "The Stall"

Jerry: "So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo?"
Kramer: "It's just a write off for them."
Jerry: "How is it a write off?"
Kramer: "They just write it off."
Jerry: "Write it off what?"
Kramer: "Jerry all these big companies they write off everything."
Jerry: "You don't even know what a write off is."
Kramer: "Do you?"
Jerry: "No I don't."
Kramer: "But they do and they are the ones writing it off."
Jerry: "I wish I just had the last twenty seconds of my life back"
- Kramer and Jerry in "The Package"

George: I'm Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.
Party Host: [To marathon runners] You're all winners!
George: But suddenly, a new contender emerges.
- "The Apartment"

"I'm not happy."
"Me neither. I've never been happy."
"I mean I'm happy sometimes, but not now."
- Jerry and George, in "The Note"

"Cats run away all the time. You know, my aunt, she had a cat. Ran away. Showed up three years later. You never know. They've got things in their brains where they remember where they're from. Unless, of course, somebody else starts feeding him. See, that's what you've gotta worry about."
- Kramer, in "The Busboy"

"Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"
- George, after sleeping with the cleaning woman, in "The Red Dot"

"The Dewey Decimal System... What a scam that was!"
- Kramer, in "The Library"

"You'd better not screw up again, Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pitbull on a poodle."
- Lt. Bookman, in "The Library"

"Listen to this. Marcy comes over and she tells me that her ex-boyfriend was over late last night and 'yada yada yada I'm really tired today.' You don't think she'd yada yada sex?"
"I've yada yada'd sex."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again."
"But you yada yada'd over the best part."
"No, I mentioned the bisque."
- George, Elaine, and Jerry, in "The Yada Yada"

"For fifty bucks? I'd put my face in their soup and blow!"
- George in "The Chinese Restaurant"

"Maybe I'll go visit my mother. She just bought me some new panties and they're all laid out for me."
- Elaine, to Jerry, in "The Cheever Letters"

"Jerry, Joe Davola. I have a hair on my tongue. Can't get it off. You know how much I hate that? Of course you do. You put it there. I know what you said about me, Seinfeld. I know you badmouthed me to the execs at NBC. Put the kibosh on my deal. Now I'm gonna put the kibosh on you. You know I've kiboshed before. And I will kibosh again."
- Crazy Joe Davola, leaving a message on Jerry's answering machine, in "The Opera"

"You'll be out before we get the check!"
- Jerry, to Kramer, who wants in on "The Contest"

"Not that there's anything wrong with that!"
- Jerry, denying that he is gay, but not wanting to be seen as anti-gay, in "The Outing"

"Ya know, there are tribes in Indonesia where if you keep your coat on in somebody's house, the families go to war!"
- George, in "The Outing"

Jerry: I have no patience for lactose. And I won't stand for it.
- "The Phone Message"

"It's like a sauna in here."
- Kramer, sitting in a sauna, in "The Implants"

Seinfeld Cast

Main Characters:

Jerry Seinfeld - Jerry Seinfeld
George Costanza - Jason Alexander
Cosmo Kramer - Michael Richards
Elaine Benes - Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Minor Characters (more than 5 episodes):

Newman - Wayne Knight
Estelle Costanza - Estelle Harris
Frank Costanza - Jerry Stiller
Susan Ross - Heidi Swedburg
Morty Seinfeld - Barney Martin
Helen Seinfeld - Liz Sheridan
J. Peterman - John O'Hurley
Mr. Steinbrenner - Larry David
Uncle Leo - Len Lesser
David Puddy - Patrick Warburton
Mr. Wilhelm - Richard Herd
Mr. Lippman - Richard Fancy
Mr. Pitt - Ian Abercrombie
Mr. Abbott - Danny Woodburn
Dugan - Joe Urla
Jackie Chiles - Phil Morris
Kenny Bania - Steve Hytner

"It's like a sauna in here!"

This is a blog dedicated only to Seinfeld, probably the greatest show in the history of television. I'll post quotes, cast, episodes, epsisode reviews, etc. Basically anything that comes to mind pertaining to Seinfeld, hence the name "All About Seinfeld."

I'll have fun with this one, hopefully you can too!